jacking off, photo shoot, and leg hair
a few weeks back, i found myself home alone. usually, this happens pretty often, and the time is most likely being taken advantage of by cleaning/tidying the house, watching tv (like the tivo-ed coldplay unplugged as we speak), tinkering online, etc. my wife works off hours, and my regular work hours combined with my irregular everything-else hours, are at fault for the frequent situation-imposed home alone-ness. so yes, a few weeks back i decided to take my hand (ba doom boom) at jacking off with my pink penis-like cock, some lube, and a bullet vibrator. i had tried, and succeeded (read:came) before on a completely different home alone night, but in a much more time-consuming, and lubeless fashion that had left me wondering why i just didn't flop down on my back and take 1/4 the time and do it the easier and less frustrating way. but i was determined to give it a shot, and even more determined to come. so this time, i was at least in the mindset that it might take a while, and with several hours to kill, thought maybe it got easier the second time. well, how's about being right for a change?
without the gory details, everything worked much more properly this time. was it the lube? different position? technique? the porn i was watching? i suppose when i try for the third time, i'll have my answer. still vibrating with the bullet, and not sure if i'll ever be able to without it (frustrating), but at this point, i'll take it as it is. i can only hope for so much.
on the second note - i have a band photo shoot tomorrow. this means coming home from work and girlying it up for the camera. jesus. i'll have my wife straighten my hair, and perhaps even put some make-up on me in certain troubled areas. still. jesus. i'd do anything to look hot... boy hot, since i can't pull off girl hot in anyone's world. i want people to come to my band's website and go.. wow. they're hot. i don't care what they sound like, i'm a fan! instead, i worry about people perplexed by my appearance, and instead of being drawn in, being turned off by it. if i was a hot girl, i wouldn't have a complex. i'd flaunt my hotness.. belly shirts, a tattoo on my hip that myseriously disappears into my low-rider jeans, oozing sex appeal, putting concert-goers into a trance - one leading them to my mailing list and cd's. if i was a hot boy, i'd dress in trendy emo shirts, and rugged jeans, and have a dirty, sort of sweaty chris martin way about myself.. with different colored pieces of electrical tape on my fingers, and unwashed hair. instead, i'm somewhere in between.. without the hotness. i'd like to not have to try so hard to be me. i'd like to not feel so unsure of who i am internally, which no doubt, shows up on stage, in my music, and tomorrow.. in pictures.
leg hair - haven't shaved in a few weeks. not intentionally, mind you... out of pure laziness. it's nice to see my long, dark hairs on my shins. makes me wonder what in the world would happen if i was one of those transmen with the photo transition blogs, posting pics of my leg hair "4 months on T." hairy beasty, i'm sure. they will be shaved soon enough, i'm assuming. i'll want my wife to want to run her hands over their smoothness that i know she likes. i'll not want it to be a deterrent in the world of my getting some sex. she's more put off by the underarm hair that i've gotten under control and for some reason, doesn't make evoke any gender issues at all. at any rate, we'll see how long i last.
without the gory details, everything worked much more properly this time. was it the lube? different position? technique? the porn i was watching? i suppose when i try for the third time, i'll have my answer. still vibrating with the bullet, and not sure if i'll ever be able to without it (frustrating), but at this point, i'll take it as it is. i can only hope for so much.
on the second note - i have a band photo shoot tomorrow. this means coming home from work and girlying it up for the camera. jesus. i'll have my wife straighten my hair, and perhaps even put some make-up on me in certain troubled areas. still. jesus. i'd do anything to look hot... boy hot, since i can't pull off girl hot in anyone's world. i want people to come to my band's website and go.. wow. they're hot. i don't care what they sound like, i'm a fan! instead, i worry about people perplexed by my appearance, and instead of being drawn in, being turned off by it. if i was a hot girl, i wouldn't have a complex. i'd flaunt my hotness.. belly shirts, a tattoo on my hip that myseriously disappears into my low-rider jeans, oozing sex appeal, putting concert-goers into a trance - one leading them to my mailing list and cd's. if i was a hot boy, i'd dress in trendy emo shirts, and rugged jeans, and have a dirty, sort of sweaty chris martin way about myself.. with different colored pieces of electrical tape on my fingers, and unwashed hair. instead, i'm somewhere in between.. without the hotness. i'd like to not have to try so hard to be me. i'd like to not feel so unsure of who i am internally, which no doubt, shows up on stage, in my music, and tomorrow.. in pictures.
leg hair - haven't shaved in a few weeks. not intentionally, mind you... out of pure laziness. it's nice to see my long, dark hairs on my shins. makes me wonder what in the world would happen if i was one of those transmen with the photo transition blogs, posting pics of my leg hair "4 months on T." hairy beasty, i'm sure. they will be shaved soon enough, i'm assuming. i'll want my wife to want to run her hands over their smoothness that i know she likes. i'll not want it to be a deterrent in the world of my getting some sex. she's more put off by the underarm hair that i've gotten under control and for some reason, doesn't make evoke any gender issues at all. at any rate, we'll see how long i last.
posted by imamessiguess at 1:20 AM
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