the boy department and shaving

i find myself often angered at the fact that i can't wear men's pants. my ass and hips are far too feminized (not to mention large - but that's a different issue) for me to ever squeeze into men's jeans, khaki's, cargo pants, and the like. now i've known plenty of women whose figures allow, and sometimes even prefer, the fit of men's pants. i'm often angered that i'm not one of them. it would be one thing if all women had to wear women's pants, but to know that some women.. some who are perfectly happy as women.. have what they might consider a curse (due to the lack of hips, ass, feminized figures), and what i would consider a privilege.

men's shorts, for some reason, do fit me. and you bet men's shorts are the only shorts i wear. the idea of braving lane bryant to pick out something too short, too pleated, too.. girlish (or mostly, too not-boyish) makes me cringe. the ability to wear men's shorts is a big reason i look forward to spring and summer. i scope out the plus size men's shorts sections for cargo shorts, long shorts, board shorts, camo shorts, wanting a pair of each, in all colors, in my dresser. this, however, is accompanied by a whole different problem. see... with shorts comes shaving. i've never been a good leg shaver. my legs are always pale, and big, and only shaven up to the knees. i never was taught or encouraged to shave any higher. and really, unless i'm naked or in a bathing suit, no one see's those higher hairy leg parts. i'm not brave enough to let the shaving go for months and months and join the hairy hippy girl club, and i'm not brave enough to go out in shorts with significantly hairy legs. public stares, and self-consciousness keep me shaving. i fear, therefor i shave.

last summer was really the first time i felt like shaving was compromising something inside of me. i've always felt like it was a nuisance, but never like i was internally going against the grain. but as this spring approaches, i know it's only a matter of time before i find myself in the shower, perched on one leg, plastic razor end in my mouth, lathering up one limb at a time. i know my wife prefers my smooth legs. i know the public silently (some not so silently) agrees. so before next weekend - before i have to be around people i know (my wife is one thing, the public is another, my friends are a different beast).. i will shave what has been growing on my legs for.. probably about a month. not for my own internal reason actually, but mostly because i'm lazy, and it's time consuming (when they're this hairy.. and this big, for that matter), and hell, it's winter out still, and if i'm wearing pants to work, and pants to bed, i feel it's unnecessary, really. but this weekend, i can't be at the beach with friends, in most likely 75 degree weather, in jeans. i fear, therefor i shave.